I am a couples counsellor who uses a variety of different approaches which are tailored to help couples in a crisis.
I can help you and your partner to find ways of overcoming problems that you may have been trying to fix for a long time. In order to help you, we will work together on discovering the cause of the difficulties and how the dynamics between you may be repeating themselves.
Couples may come to me when they are at breaking point, and their relationship feels fractured. They may feel their love has diminished, or they cannot overcome a particular barrier to their relationship. It may be hard for a couple to decide if to break up or to keep trying, and my role is to support you with finding your way through this conflicting time.
I can give you strategies to communicate with your partner more effectively and to express your needs and your feelings in healthy ways. I do not work by simply trying to fix today’s current problems, but by looking into someone’s history for the original cause of their problems.
What kind of issues can counselling help with?
I can support couples who have experienced affairs, both emotional and physical. I can help with couples who feel the romance is dead, or who have different physical needs within the relationship. Couples may row constantly without really knowing why the arguments escalate every time, and my role is to enable them to understand why this is happening and where the dynamic may originate from in their childhood.
I also look into the different ways people show love, and how important it is to have space from each other in a relationship. Couples with children can experience problems when they have opposing views on child-rearing and parenting can trigger significant anger and frustration towards each other.
What outcomes can I expect from counselling?
After embarking on a couples counselling programme, you can expect to come away feeling heard, understood and validated. As a couple, you will learn how to communicate with each other in effective ways and how to express your needs with clarity. You will also be able to gain insight into each other’s triggers and how to support each other as a team.
There will be a healthy balance in the relationship, and a growing ability to show true vulnerability with each other. Sometimes couples can get stuck communicating ineffectively, by using sarcasm, criticism, sulking, blaming, withdrawing or shaming, and through counselling, you will learn how to express feelings honestly and constructively.
Prior to counselling, you may have worried about bringing up a sensitive subject with your partner, or your conversations may have felt like they were going round and round in circles, with a building sense of frustration, but after attending counselling you will feel that disagreements can be talked through effectively with empathy and understanding.
How long do I need to attend counselling?
Each session is 60 minutes long, and we work on 6 session blocks, evaluating how we are doing along the way. You may decide to terminate the counselling at any point, but usually, my work with couples is 6-12 sessions long. We will find out what outcomes you wish to achieve through attending counselling and will work on a plan of action together as a team.
Please contact me for more information or to book your first session using the following methods, or visit my contact page
Call/Text: 07846 477726
paul@pauljamescounselling.co.uk